This is Why You Are Broke and Unfulfilled

Have you ever purchased an item and suddenly found yourself wanting to buy more things to match it?

Maybe it’s a shirt that needs new shoes to go with it.

Or a new coffee table that matches your dinner table and sofa.

Wait… the curtains don’t match so you go to the mall to buy yet another item.

This is the Diderot Effect.

There is no “cure” to this because we all have things for which we can be sold for.

We all have things to buy. But, when do we have enough?

From a young age, we’ve been programmed to be consumers.

We’ve been told that we can lead a good life growing up if we work hard. The TV commercials, Hollywood movies, social media ads and influencers celebrate that “good life” and will not stop preaching at you.

A fake and materialistic lifestyle — that’s the good life we are being sold.

Some of us realize that none of this actually brings any real happiness.

For the rest (and most of us), we ignore this. We work harder to buy more of the things that are supposed to make life “good”.

But we’re not that much happier, so we push it further and further.

A nicer car, phone, tool, home, new furniture, more partying, and more shiny objects.

All so we can impress people we don’t care about.

How long can we keep this up for? Not very long.

Before you know it, you’ve accumulated tons of debt or barely any savings chasing that “good life”.

That good life which is supposed to guarantee happiness, relationships, fulfillment and all your wildest dreams.

I’ll let you in on a secret… it’s a lie.

The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can break from this vicious cycle.

It won’t be easy though. It takes time to remove years of conditioning.

It doesn’t help that you’re constantly being reminded of this everywhere you go.

It also doesn’t help that your brain loves it.

It releases dopamine every time you see those ads, commercials, and influencers making you crave that new shiny object. Then, once you buy it, even more dopamine gets released.

This dopamine helps you pursue that “good life” because maybe if you buy that thing or live like them, you can be happy too… for a moment.

We’re all hooked and enslaved to that dopamine. The thing about shiny objects as a source of dopamine is that this feeling is fleeting.

Before you know it, you want it again. It has the same mechanism as drugs.

That’s why the US has $1T of credit card debt. Most of us can’t even afford an emergency expense of $500 yet we live it big on social media.

Everything you see is just a carefully selected snapshot or highlight reel that others feel comfortable showing you.

What about the rest of their lives? I guarantee you, it’s not that sexy.

Always assume that what you see on social media is fake.

Most “gurus”, traders, course sellers are fooling you and now we’re even starting to see AI generated models.

Don’t believe everything you see and hear on social media.

Your mental health and wallet will thank you.

You won’t be so gullible.

You won’t be so quick to buy into whatever new fad is being promoted. I’m speaking from experience.

Most importantly, you won’t be so quick to compare yourself to others and feel miserable about the beautiful life that you are already living right now.

If we want to break free from this hamster wheel of a life, we must take control of our steering wheel and turn it towards a new direction.

What is that direction? That’s for you to figure out because what makes each of us happy is different.

But, here’s what you can do to avoid this cycle.

1) Understand the pattern behind your behaviour

Do something once and it’s an exception.

Do it twice and it’s a pattern.

Do it thrice and it’s a habit.

When you repeatedly do something, you become desensitized to it.

This means you need to push it further to feel a difference or an improvement.

This is where it gets dangerous in the context of buying things.

When you buy something, dopamine gets released. Dopamine is the brain molecule behind motivation and pleasure.

After that purchase, you feel good. But, that high does not last very long.

You felt good, right? But, it’s only a matter of time before you get used to it.

So your brain makes you do that thing again because it wants you to feel good again.

Overtime, you’ve got yourself a new habit! Shopping therapy!

You feel sad? You shop. You feel stressed? You shop. You feel bored? You shop.

Some purchases are more powerful than others. By powerful, I mean that they contribute to the release of even more dopamine.

And it’s not only purchases that contribute to this.

Sugar, drugs, alcohol, food, big ticket items, entertainment and video games, etc.

Combine everything together and you’ve got yourself a recipe for a disaster.

The sad truth is that most of us are enslaved to all of this, making this cycle nearly impossible to break through. We are becoming “NPCs”, enslaved and controlled by dopamine.

For most of us, the only pattern we have is dopamine.

Dopamine is what gets you to chase that carrot on a stick.

Dopamine is not all bad though.

It’s not only behind pleasure but also our drive and motivation. Without it, we couldn’t get ourselves to do anything.

So what do we do about this?

2) Find other sources of dopamine

You will always be driven by dopamine — that will not change.

You need dopamine to thrive and you can use it in your favour.

There are other sources of dopamine that are good for you.

When you’re not hooked on chasing that carrot on a stick, your dopamine threshold is much lower so it takes less of it to give you that feeling of pleasure.

So you can actually enjoy the things in your day-to-day life.

• When you read a book or an article.
• When you go to the gym.
• When you go on a run or walk.
• When you cook a meal.

You know, the non-sexy stuff behind the scenes.

But the truth is that most of our lives is comprised of those non-sexy things. This is what your life really is about.

If you can’t live your “behind the scenes”, life is going to feel very long.

That’s why despite having the best living conditions and technology that even our grand-parents couldn’t dream of, we are depressed and we hate ourselves.

We’re fooled into thinking that a good life is a fast and frivolous life.

The higher the dopamine hit, the more fleeting it is.

In the context of buying, you’ll never feel like you have enough.

First, the good feeling dissipates pretty quickly. Second, there is a mechanism in place to always revert your baseline level of happiness.

It’s called the Hedonic Adaptation.

Something good or bad happens to you? Eventually, your happiness level will return to its baseline.

It does not matter what you buy or how much your life changes.

Combine this with the Diderot effect and cheap dopamine and you’ve found yourself in the vicious cycle we live in.

Do you see how powerful this is?

You buy one thing. It leads to other purchases. Each of them making you feel pretty good.

They all seem insignificant at first… because they are when in moderation.

But then, maybe you start feeling a little low because life happens.

You start to rely on these things to feel good, and before you know it, you’re spending more money than you can afford and feel more stressed and anxious than ever before.

What do you do as a result of that stress and anxiety?

Congrats! You’ve found the Hedonic Treadmill.

The sooner you realize this is not a sustainable way of living, the sooner you can get off this treadmill and do something with your life.

Something that’s not just immediate gratification.

Something worth dedicating your life to.

Something that gives you purpose.

Purpose cannot be purchased.

Possessions do not determine your worth.

What are five strategies to overcome the Diderot Effect?

1. Understand the total cost of a purchase. It’s easy to be excited about having something new but this can lead to a cycle of consumption. Anticipate hidden expenses before committing financially.

2. Focus on experiences, not possessions. Instead of acquiring new items to fill emotional voids, pursue novel activities or travel. This approach offers deeper meaning than material acquisitions.

3. Set a budget. Limiting your spending prevents unnecessary impulse purchases.

4. Avoid comparison. Don’t compare yourself to others and their possessions. Individual circumstances differ greatly and acquisitions don’t define personal value.

5. Practice gratitude. Appreciate existing possessions and emphasize life’s positive dimensions.

6. Unsubscribe from habit triggers and desires that do not align with your values and happiness. By simplifying your life and reducing unnecessary consumption, you can achieve greater freedom and happiness.

The Takeaway

The Diderot Effect is a vicious cycle of consumption that can leave you broke and unfulfilled. Understanding your behavioral patterns and discovering healthier dopamine sources is essential. Purpose cannot be purchased, and possessions do not determine your worth.