Feeling Behind in Life: Practical Steps to Catch Up and Thrive
Have you ever felt that you were not quite where you were supposed to be?
That you haven’t accomplished enough.
That you’re not good enough.
That others seem to be doing better than you are.
That their lives are better than yours.
How does that make you feel?
If you feel a sense of inadequacy and frustration, unable to appreciate your journey, then you probably think you’re behind in life.
You’re not the only one though… it is far more common than you think.
Feeling behind in life is an experience that can result from comparing ourselves to others or feeling unfulfilled in our careers, relationships, personal goals and overall life.
We often get caught up in measuring our progress based on societal expectations, timelines, or the achievements of our friends and even strangers.
It can feel lonely to walk this road of constantly feeling that you’re somehow behind and catching up to others.
It's important to remember that everyone's journey is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all roadmap for success and happiness.
Among all the people in world, there is no one else like you. So let me ask you, how can you be behind life?
Now, before I go all “guru” and motivational on you, let’s first dive into this feeling that we all feel at some point in our lives.
Understanding the Feeling of Being Behind in Life
It is common for people to feel behind in life at some point.
This feeling may come from various sources, such as social media, and personal insecurities.
The Role of Social Media
In this digital age, social media has become an essential part of our lives.
This constant exposure to other people's achievements, success stories, and milestones can make you feel like you are not progressing at the same pace.
Go on Instagram, Tiktok or your app of choice and you will see an endless amount of highlight reels with ridiculously good looking people, and others who just seem to have to all.
The highlight reel effect of social media can cause you to feel inadequate and, ultimately, behind in life.
But, a highlight reel is all that it is. What you see on social media is a carefully selected and edited snapshot people choose to show.
There’s nothing wrong with that but as the urge to compare yourself to these snapshot arises, stop and remind yourself that everyone is facing their own struggles and setbacks.
They just don’t show it. No one shows the behind the scenes because it’s just not as sexy. It doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
Tony Robbins’ happiness formula is that your life conditions must align with your blueprint.
Your blueprint is how your perceive your world and how it should be.
Your life conditions are all the external things and circumstances of your world.
When there is a misalignment between the two, your expectations of the world conflict with the circumstances of your world.
The danger with social media is that it can create or worsen this misalignment.
What do you see on social media? Fast cars, VIP seats, travelling, fancy restaurants and hotels, ridiculously good looking people.
Everyone is just flexing to get your attention and validation.
The more time you spend on social media, the more susceptible you become. The more normal these things seem to be and before you know it, you’ve skewed your expectations of the world.
This unrealistic expectation of how your life should be leads to the inability to appreciate what you have.
You feel behind because you compare yourself to others
We have a natural tendency to compare ourselves to others.
It’s healthy and motivating at times, but it’s mostly problematic as we start to devalue our own accomplishments. This can make you feel left behind if you perceive others as more successful, happier, or more advanced in their personal or professional lives.
If there was just one thing you could do to improve your mental health right now, it would be to not compare your path to that of others.
Each person's journey cannot be measured by the same set of criteria.
If left unchecked, this comparison can cause some serious insecurities and ruin your life.
You feel behind because you’re insecure
Self-doubt, low self-esteem, and fear of failure all contribute to a lack of self-worth.
When you lack self-worth, you are more susceptible to feeling behind because you are acting in accordance to your own beliefs about yourself.
Negative thoughts are self-fulfilling.
If you think you can’t, then you won’t.
If you won’t, then you miss out on opportunities.
If you miss on these opportunities when you know deep down that you have it takes, it creates even more friction in your life.
Not only that, but you exacerbate the feeling that you’re behind others.
You begin to look at others highly while bringing yourself down.
Do you see the cycle that results from this behaviour?
Your existing insecurities prevent you from taking action.
Your lack of action robs you from the accomplishment that was within your grasp.
You feel bad about this outcome.
You see others who have done what you didn’t and now you feel regret, envy, and inadequacy.
Here’s the thing, there’s always going to be someone who is better than you at something.
Career, finances, health, relationships, looks, whatever it is, you cannot have it all and it’s totally okay!
It doesn’t mean anything about you.
The Individuality of Success
We are all on Individual Journeys
Every person's journey through life is unique, and following a linear path to success is not realistic.
No one else is like you.
You must recognize that success is entirely subjective and can vary greatly depending on individual experiences and values.
What might be considered a milestone for one person may not hold the same significance for another.
While it's natural to compare yourself to others, you must shift your focus towards your own personal growth.
Instead of measuring your progress against societal norms or those around you, focus on the unique aspects of your own journey.
How do you that?
Define what truly matters to YOU and not what society wants from you.
Everyone has goals but are they truly their goals?
I think most of us just follow a path curated by others, walking through life on autopilot until one day we realize none of it matters to us. But then, we believe it’s too late to change so we indulge in whatever quick fix we can find to make our selves feel better until greater problems arise.
“It’s too late”, we tell ourselves, so we must carry on.
The thing about navigating on autopilot is that you need to change directions sometimes. You, the pilot, have to be involved, you can’t just assume you’ll get to your destination without any course corrections.
Luckily, if you’re reading this right now, you’re already on track to avoid this path of autopilot.
You can avoid a lot of problems down the road just by reflecting on what you actually want from your life.
Defining Your Own Milestones and Goals
“I don’t have six-pack abs”.
“I’m not earning this salary”.
“I’m not married”.
“I’m still in school.”
“I don’t have kids”.
“I don’t own a property”.
“I’m still single”
Apparently we’re all on a clock racing against time to achieve anything and everything.
You can be anything, but you can’t be everything.
Society wants you to be everything but it’s a game you will never win
If you can set your own personal milestones and goals that are truly yours, then you are already winning.
Because then you are pursuing your interests, passions, and the lifestyle you envision for yourself.
By doing so, you create a path that aligns with your values and priorities, rather than chasing an arbitrary measure of success.
If society’s measurements of success, like fame, money, and clout, were the answers, we would never hear about the rich depressed millionaires.
Anyone with a lot of money would simply always be over the moon all the time.
We know it’s not the case so why focus so much on these measurements of success?
I’m not saying you should give up on making money and but why not ask yourself what does success mean to you?
Define your individual goals by asking yourself what truly matters to you, what aspects of your life you want to improve, and which achievements would bring you satisfaction.
Take a moment and think about what you want for these areas of your life:
- Personal relationships
- Career growth
- Emotional well-being
- Financial stability
- Health and fitness
When you craft a definition of success based on your own values and priorities, you are better equipped to embrace your progress and accomplishments with confidence.
Ultimately, this approach will help you cultivate a more fulfilling life journey, grounded in what truly matters to you.
Flip The Script By Doing This
Motivation and Drive
Feeling stuck and lacking motivation can lead to and result from a sense of being behind in life.
Here’s what you should do to keep your drive:
- Reflect on your personal values and aspirations, and use these as a guiding force to enhance your motivation.
- Establish small, achievable goals, and focus on the progress you make each day.
- Surround yourself with positive influences, like supportive friends and mentors, and regularly remind yourself of your accomplishments.
Stop Self-Sabotage
It is crucial to be aware of the negative thought patterns and behaviours that hinder your progress.
When you notice these patterns, practice positive coping strategies to manage stress and gain control over your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Seek out resources that will aid in your personal growth, such as books, podcasts, or therapy, and find a supportive network that shares your vision and values.
Remember, every step you take towards self-awareness and improvement brings you closer to where you want to be in life.
Essence of Personal Growth and Future Preparation
Finding Your Purpose
Your purpose can be a driving force that helps you navigate the ups and downs of your day-to-day.
To discover your purpose, consider reflecting on the values and passions that are important to you.
Take a moment to evaluate your long-term goals, and think about what drives you towards achieving them.
I know I sound like a broken record but I cannot stress the importance of reflecting of your values and personal milestones. No one else can tell you what fulfils you.
As you reflect on this and take steps towards your own milestones, you will harness more fulfillment and find your purpose in life.
You don’t want to wake up at 60 years old and realize you climbed the ladder, except it placed on the wrong wall.
Figure out where you want to place your ladder.
Finding Happiness in Your Choices
Your happiness is influenced by the choices you make.
Be intentional in the decisions you make, both big and small, to foster contentment in your life.
When you encounter difficulties, remind yourself that it's okay to feel uncertain, but trust that you have the ability to make choices that align with your goals and values.
Be patient with yourself and find joy in each step you take towards your growth.
Not every single thing you do has to generate money or be productive.
If you place happiness and fulfillment first, you will naturally generate money and productivity as a by-product.
You will also need less of it because your life itself is enough. If you live this way, there is no need to indulge in anything.
Challenge As A Driver of Personal Growth
To inspire personal growth and prepare for the future, seek opportunities that challenge you.
Accomplishing things that challenge you can be a great driver of confidence and personal growth.
By doing harder things, you will naturally feel more confident in your own capabilities.
Speak publicly, ask that person out, do that cold shower, put yourself out there, whatever it is, challenge yourself everyday and do things that are hard and scare you.
The Takeaway on Feeling Behind in Life
Feeling behind in life is a common struggle, particularly in our digital world with societal pressures to "have it together" by a certain age. However, you should remember that everyone's journey is different and comparing yourself to others can lead to unnecessary stress.
One way to deal with feeling behind in life is to focus on yourself and your unique goals. Reflect on what truly matters to you and think about what steps you can take to work towards those goals. It's important to remember that success and accomplishments are not solely defined by societal norms or expectations.
When you feel like you're lagging behind others, remind yourself that there's no prescribed timeline for reaching milestones in your life.
Life is unpredictable, and sometimes, delays or detours can help you gain valuable experiences, insights, and growth.
Embrace the uncertainties and be open to adjusting your plans and expectations.
Another thing to keep in mind is to practice gratitude and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.
Recognizing your progress and focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help counter the feeling of being left behind.
Lastly, remember that your self-worth is not solely tied to your achievements. You are valuable and deserving of love and respect, regardless of your accomplishments.
So, allow yourself to take breaks, seek help when needed, and know that it's never too late to pursue your dreams and passions.
By implementing these strategies and maintaining a confident, knowledgeable, and neutral mindset, you can better handle the feeling of being behind in life and enjoy your unique journey.
